Oh, the plot bunnies are endless

Did you know that one of Hitler's favorite physicists was a Stark?

I am about to cave

After being dependent on others for cell phone coverage for several years now, I have finally decided that yes, it's time I got one of my own. However, since I've never owned one, I have no idea what to buy and would beg advice. Here are my criteria: 1. I am not ditching my landline. The four days we spent without power to charge a phone but with a working landline convinced me that no, I don't want to remove my safety net quite yet. 2. No contract and no monthly fees. I really don't have the money for another bill, and I seriously, seriously doubt I'd use a cell phone often to make it cost-effective. I assume this means I'd have to buy prepaid calling cards from time to time, but I've done that before and have no problem with it. 3. Small and portable. I don't need a smart phone and don't especially want one because they seem like colossal time and energy wasters. 4. Inexpensive. My budget for a basic phone is maybe $30, tops, since I will not be storing pictures, taking pictures, storing music, playing music, reading books or articles, checking e-mail, or otherwise using the phone for anything but calls and *maybe* the occasional text. Is this unrealistic, or is there something out there that will work? I've been holding out for years, especially after the European reports that why yes, there *is* a small correlation between cell phone use and acoustic neuroma, since the last thing I need is ANOTHER !#$!$@!$!@@! tumor. This is for emergency use only, nothing more. Thanks in advance....