Writer's Block: Sticks and stones

[ellid]

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I once was called a slut because I'd had the temerity to sleep with my boyfriend/later husband. He was my first, and based on the way our marriage worked out, probably only lover, so to this day I have no idea why she called me that.

It still burns.

Comments

[psyfic.livejournal.com]

When I was still a practicing Catholic, during the busiest time of my life when I was working 44 hours a week, carrying a 19-credit college load, and coming home to take my shift taking care of my invalid grandmother, my Paternal Unit--in a rare moment during which he was sober & aware of his actions--happened to overhear a passing conversation between myself and my mother, who asked me if one of my co-workers that had been flirting with me had asked me out yet. I was feeding my grandmother at the time and rolled my eyes, replying, "No, and if he did, who has time?"

His off-hand response, punctuated with a loud disbelieving laugh to start: "You're gone most of the damn day, who knows what you get up to or who you're fucking when you're out of the house? Give me a break! You could be fucking 10 different guys each day and no one would know!"

Forgiven? Yeah, like I said, I was a practicing Catholic and I know he probably had less than half of his functional brain cells by then, but I've never forgotten. It still aches like my broken hand does atm, but in a far deeper place.

[psyfic.livejournal.com]

Funny.

In relaying that moment to you I realised that out of the various pains he caused, it is not just the physical abuse I remember with such aching clarity. In fact, none of the blows he landed on my person came to mind when I read your question, but the incident I described flew right to the forefront of my mind.

[ellid.livejournal.com]

People who think that sticks and stones are worse than words have no idea. I don't recall what the one spanking I ever received felt like, but the cruel words that have been said to me are burned in my synapses.

[psyfic.livejournal.com]

*nods*

*hug*

[samantha-vimes.livejournal.com]

She has problems.

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

"Slut" is an insult primarily used by women against other women. If I had a dollar for every time I've heard a man use it against a woman as opposed to a penny for every time I've heard a woman use it against another woman, I would choose the latter deal as the smarter investment every time.

And what it means is "I value sex mostly as a commodity to exchange for other goods [romance, commitment, money, social status, etc.]. If there is a woman who enjoys it for its own sake, she is driving down the value of this 'labor' that I consider so onerous and the same time, so important for barter, and she is a SCAB who is personally cheapening the hard work I do to earn a "fair wage" during those hours I must submit to the act. I must devalue her!"

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

Or, more simply, "any woman who has more sex than I do/any kind of sex I don't approve of." But I actually lean more towards the sarcastic pseudo-Marxist interpretation.

[susannaknits.livejournal.com]

The first time my dad met my ex-husband (who was the first bf I'd ever brought home), he told me "He could do better." It wasn't even meant as an insult.