Evil, socialist, liberal, un-American holiday cards

[ellid]

I've been reading for a couple of years now about the so-called "War on Christmas." For those in other countries, this is allegedly an attack on Christians by an evil, secular society by the inclusion of non-religious songs in school holiday concerts, store clerks wishing shoppers "happy holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas," and greeting cards that read "Season's Greetings." It goes hand in glove with the idea that Christians are a persecuted minority in the United States, and has been heavily promoted by Glenn Beck, Bill O'Reilly, and a lot of very right-wing evangelical leaders over the past few years.

Since I live in a reasonably liberal state (Massachusetts), in possibly the most liberal area thereof (the Amherst/Northampton area), I found this more quaint than threatening; no one has shown up outside the local Macy's with picket signs, shoppers in Northampton seem more intent on paying for their goods than on what the clerk says as she hands over the change, and there have been no protests outside Easthampton High School about the winter concert. We all get along, mostly, and it's good.



Last night I went to Staples to purchase holiday cards for my employer. We have clients all over the United States and several EU countries, and a lot of them are either Muslim, Hindu, or Jewish. I'm under strict orders to avoid anything religious (no Madonnas, Magi, mangers, stars, trees, menorahs, dreidels, Maccabees or angels), cutesy (gifts under the tree, teddy bears, scenes by Thomas Kinkade, the Painter of Kitsch, adorable kittens, adorable puppies, cartoon figures, and so on), or "adult" (Santa knocking back a mai tai, reindeer sipping martinis, elves in miniskirts).

In short, good taste and an avoidance of offense. Not easy, but doable, especially if I hit Staples early before they run out of everything but "Merry Christmas" spelled out in candy canes, kick dancing polar bears, or Santa water skiing while knocking back a martini.

Fortunately there were plenty of suitable cards, so I made my selection, proceeded to check out, and signed for the purchases. As the clerk bagged my cards, I remarked that I was glad I'd gotten there when I did, since we had a diverse client base and I wanted to make sure I got enough non-religious cards.

As I picked up my bag, a voice behind me said, "That's terrible."

The speaker was a woman who was probably in her mid-50s but looked older, with a grim expression and watery blue eyes. I turned to her and said "My company always sends out non-religious cards. We have clients of all religions."

She pursed her lips and said, "Why? It's Christmas."

I swallowed, hard, and said, "We have Muslim clients. It would be offensive to send them Christmas cards."

"Don't they have their own holidays? Send them cards for that!"

I took a deep breath. The clerk was staring at her, mouth open, as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing. I finally said, "They live in America. The holiday is called 'New Year's.'"

Before she could say anything else, I grabbed my cards and said, "Try watching something besides Bill O'Reilly and Fox News. 'Season's Greetings' and 'Happy Holidays' were used forty years ago when I was a child. My aunt bought the cards for her company and always chose secular cards."

There was no answer as I left, and a good thing, too. I was so upset it took me over an hour to calm down, partly at the breathtaking rudeness of telling a stranger that her purchase was "terrible," and partly at the bigotry implicit in telling me that it was perfectly fine to send Christmas cards to non-Christians.

What has this country come to?

Comments

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

Good gravy, what is WITH people? This is the third such incident I've heard about THIS WEEK. It's frigging TUESDAY!

UGH.

[ellid.livejournal.com]

Good heavens, really? That's even worse! Since when is a non-religious holiday card such a horrible thing? Thanksgiving and New Year's aren't religious, or weren't the last time I looked!

[celandineb.livejournal.com]

"Don't they have their own holidays? Send them cards for that!"

What an idiotic suggestion. You don't necessarily know what religion (if any) the recipient follows. It would be incredibly gauche and rude to demand that information.

A secular and generic holiday card is perfectly appropriate. I'm so sorry that there are still so many people who are too narrow-minded to realize that there is a world outside their own little one.

FWIW, I think your response was pretty restrained and justified under the circumstances!

[ellid.livejournal.com]

You don't necessarily know what religion (if any) the recipient follows. It would be incredibly gauche and rude to demand that information.

That is *exactly* the point. Personally I've always been partial to the art cards one can buy at the Met or other museums, especially the ones that have Renaissance Madonnas. They're gorgeous, and tasteful, and far better than most cards...but I have friends, dear friends, who are Druids, Jews, Muslims, atheists, agnostics, Unitarian Universalists, and Christians of every denomination from high church Anglican to evangelical. It's easier to pick a card that says "Happy Holidays!" and write a personal greeting inside than offend someone who'll be dancing around a bonfire or lighting a menorah.

One thing: I solemnly swear that I will never, ever send out cards with Santa knocking back a martini, sitting in a martini glass, feeding Rudolf a martini, or sitting around in a Hawaiian shirt surrounded by bottles of gin and vermouth. Those used to be really popular for reasons that escape me, and I see no reason to encourage the genre....

[celandineb.livejournal.com]

I'm fine with winter scenes and that sort of thing. Renaissance art is certainly lovely, but still indisputably Christian in origin, so I tend to avoid it too.

And I have (or had) folks on my card list who are recovering alcoholics, or teetotalers, so those drunk Santa cards don't do it for me either. (Although Santa is so secularized these days, I almost don't think of cards with him as religious...)

[ellid.livejournal.com]

Betty used to bring home these huge, glossy, heavy books of holiday cards every summer. She was tasked with picking out the cards for the very, very high end law firm (http://www.eckertseamans.com/content.aspx?ContentID=35) where she worked. Most of the cards were pretty boring, but I distinctly remember a whole line of cards showing a cartoony Santa dancing, drinking various alcoholic beverages, swimming in a champagne glass, water skiing in Hawaii, toasting the New Year with his reindeer, and generally acting pretty un-Santa like. I have no idea why the card companies thought these were appropriate for businesses to send out, since the whole tone was basically "WHOOPEE I'M SANTA IT'S THE HOLIDAYS LET'S GET REALLY DRUNK WHEE!!!!!!!"

[gardengirl6.livejournal.com]

I am perfectly content to send Christmas cards to those I know celebrate Christmas, and holiday cards to those who don't. My friend Jenn, who is Jewish, avoids the issue entirely by sending overtly Happy New Year letters. I get pictures of her children, we get to catch up a bit, and everyone feels both loved and respected. Is that really so complicated for folks to understand?

[ellid.livejournal.com]

Exactly! Especially since these were cards for a business, not something for me to send to my friends.

[psyfic.livejournal.com]

We deal with this every christmas here, in "liberal" southern California. It got worse the last two years of Bush's reign. I've heard people in lines going on about how it doesn't matter what someone else says to them, they are going to say Merry Christmas because no one is going to "steal" christmas from them. (*rolling eyes*)

I've heard these right-wingers harassing poor shop clerks that wish them a Happy Holiday! I've heard them actually insisting the clerk repeat 'Merry Christmas' and say patronizingly 'it's not that hard, see? This is a Christian nation!' and similar rot, such as that anyone who doesn't believe in Christmas has to get used to the idea they're not in their country anymore. It's disgusting.

[ellid.livejournal.com]

Why it's any of their business is beyond me.

[psyfic.livejournal.com]

I suppose it's where the term 'busybody' hails from.

[ladyaelfwynn.livejournal.com]

I hate it when people are that rude.

I hope that women gets wished, "Happy Hannukah, Blessed Solstice, Happy Boxing Day, Merry Winter, and Happy Anniversary of Melvin Dewey's birthday!" repeatedly.

The first year we had a holiday door decorating contest at work, I wished everyone a happy Dec. holiday of their choice and found something to celebrate on every single day including Jane Austen's birthday, National cookie day, and Games day.

My favorites were National Chocolate day and the anniversaries of various births and deaths. There were quite a few notable ones.

[samantha-vimes.livejournal.com]

A Neatly-derived Newtonmas to us all. :)

[ellid.livejournal.com]

Mm. Cookies. :)

[samantha-vimes.livejournal.com]

Great. Now I'm imagining an actual Newton mass. "This is my body, eat of it." "Hey! Dead physicist transubstantiation tastes better than Christ!"

[ellid.livejournal.com]

Good for you! That's the spirit!

[handspinner.livejournal.com]

My mother who is far more sensitized to this than I am, accepts she will receive secular cards from some and religious cards from others. She has paid attention over the years and tries to return the sort they send to her. She even sorts her postage stamps into secular and religious.

The only time I saw a card bother her was when a cousin invoked WWII memories. He had just become a minister and sent a card that said on the inside "we celebrate the only god who became man". What bothered my mother was on the outside it said "Many men have tried to become god" and had pictures of various dictators and what my cousin would refer to as pagan icons like Buddha. My mother was truly disturbed to receive a card with Hitler's picture on the front.

On the other hand my uncle, the lawyer, always sent amusing cards where Santa was on trial. I remember one where Santa was in the docket and the judge was looking at him as the lawyer asked, "And where were you on the night of December 24?"

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

My mother was truly disturbed to receive a card with Hitler's picture on the front.

My mind boggles. Christmas cards with Hitler on? OK, I remember as a child come marvellous ?CND ones involving Scargill and Thatcher as stuffed turkeys (which obviously were intended from friends on the appropriate part of the spectrum), but Hitler? How could that be appropriate from or to anyone?

[ellid.livejournal.com]

Your cousin's card sounds extremely disturbing - I don't blame your mother for being upset. I assume he goes to a conservative church?

OTOH, your uncle sounds like a hoot!

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

That's quite an encounter! No wonder you were upset. Well done for standing up to her.

On a "divided by a common ocean" thing, it surprised me for a moment that you'd count cards with trees on as religious, since that tends to be a popular non-religious card over here. But then I am reminded "different cultural context".

[tree_and_leaf]

I second this comment on both points....

[ellid.livejournal.com]

There's trees and trees. Trees as part of a wintry landscape are fine. Trees decorated with ornaments are borderline. :)

[tena524.livejournal.com]

My non-practicing-Jewish son-in-law, a native of Russia, says that where he grew up, everyone decorated trees at Christmas time, even though hardly anyone practiced any sort of religion. Go figure.

[persevero.livejournal.com]

Conversely, we non-Christians send out cards in December too, and the Season's Greetings ones are relatively few and far between here. Most charity catalogues tend to have only one design with a non-secular message - I suppose holiday-card-sending Jews are a pretty small market in the UK.

[ellid.livejournal.com]

That's another thing I'll point out if I encounter another person like this one....

[roonilwazlib6.livejournal.com]

Girl I wish I could have been there lol. I think you handled it well. I would have either been too enraged to say anything intelligent or so angry that I punched her. XD

[ellid.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It was a near thing, believe me!

[gatewaygirl.livejournal.com]

Yeah, like one of the above commenters, I would probably have been rendered incoherent by that sort of harassment, and then have had "I should have said" brain simmer for days afterwards. Good job!

We've occasionally bought "Happy New Year" cards for the people on our personal list that we know aren't 'ethnically Christian'. ;-) For business, though, neutral is the way to go!

[ellid.livejournal.com]

*bows* Thanks. I'm still shaking my head over this one.

[orphandani.livejournal.com]

I have this problem every year within my own family-- I'm Wiccan, raised in a Jewish foster home, have a niece who's a Buddhist monk, and an aunt who's a Shaman, plus some brothers whose wives are very much Baptist and Catholic (tho luckily not at the same time!)! So I just get a bunch of "Season's Greetings" and wish them all a Happy New Year in a hand-written note inside the card.